FROM THE PRIVATE LIFE OF THE PARASITES, OUTSIDERS & BORDERERS

They are insecure, fearful, easily desperate and irritated. Their mood changes quickly. They fall on the floor laughing and then start to sighing compulsively. They sometimes go from laughter to near choking. It may sound dramatic and exaggerated. They alternate widely their state of mind: worry, fatigue, drowsiness, boredom, and even aggressiveness.  Whenever they shout and protest it is painful to whoever wants to see them happy.  However surprising this may seem, they find little support in each other. They discuss everything.  When they overcome a difficult phase, they immediately forget the state of despair in which they previously were. They think twice before expressing their problems, seeking isolation, convinced that they are the only ones under this stress. They never shout without a reason. They shout out of insecurity. Repeatedly, their behavioural pattern changes radically – which turns out to be advantageous since it allows them to learn new things. Each one builds up his own fear structure, in accordance with his tendencies, preferences and temperament. They sink into their memories and constantly dive deeper into them. They consider themselves as having a good memory and they become desolate when coming to terms with the fact that a memento can vanish quicker than they ever thought. They compare their experiences with others. They are sensitive to motivation stimuli and appreciate being praised by their smell, looks and talent. They do nothing of their own free will. When scared, they bend, throw their heads back, agitate their arms and legs in and out and then crossed them on top of their bellies and chests, as if they were holding on to themselves. To survive they take into account their looks. In hard times they have the distinct feeling that they have failed. They take care of everything. They make an effort to instil anxiety in others. Everything takes time. They have an enormous need of self-confidence, warmth and protection. They are easy to relieve. Everything seems to indicate that they mature abruptly and overcome adversity with ease. Some are immediately overwhelmed by everything that surrounds them, although they quickly lose their enthusiasm. What was once familiar becomes odd. The world that they once knew changes irrevocably. They let things slowly grow on them so that they can assimilate and work on their perception while maintaining a distinct preference for a safe place. They are never tired of body contact. They want to feel embraced, involved and protest whenever they stop being the centre of attention. They feel momentarily desired. They constantly try to establish the limits and the borders. They are unable to see clearly the problems since all their energy is wasted on long and tormented effort. They are impossible to solace. They get bored. Sometimes they take a break to rest; they need it urgently. Every so often they pause to rest; they crave for these breaks. They become disturbed, if they lose their ground. They are frivolous and ill tempered. For them, falling asleep is a sensational climax. They want to be occupied by someone. In truth they expect from themselves a constant progress and are annoyed by detours or changes of pace. Frequently they feel placed under stress by others. They plan everything even knowing that they have been left with their problems unsolved. The fact that they laugh mean they have been stimulated in the right measure – not to much, otherwise they would have fear, and not less, or else they would have been bored. Since the world has changed, they are no longer able to deal with it. They assimilate calmly all impressions, preferably in a safe spot. Many do not even want to be recognised or called for – some are even frightened of themselves. Once in a while they do not want anything at all. They are confused and unstable: one day they are happy, the next it seems that the world is coming to an end. They often lie quietly, gazing into the unknown, or if they have them, playing with their ears. They seem weak and distracted while waiting for something to manifest itself. They complain about suffering from weariness, drowsiness, headaches, stomach-aches, back pains and hypersensitivity. Some seem to display all these symptoms at the same time. They are well acquainted with insomnia. They detest avidity. They fancy themselves faraway, in a wet world. They expect something but the time is yet to come. They are precious but doubt their value: they need to test it in order to be convinced. They love to see in the mirror their own reflection, at which they smile sympathetically. Then they react amazed to their own image. Once there are caught in this enthusiasm, they impose a certain self-restrain. They find it exaggerated. They are constantly busy examining the surrounding environment and this gives them an immense pleasure. They obsessively stare into the unknown. They demand attention. They do not want to be touched or grabbed by anyone before they are properly addressed. They dislike beings that constantly need to be busy. They want to be observed. When lying horizontally, they exceed a certain limit and feel the aggressions coming from above. At meals certain conflicts may arise and it is then that the dining table becomes a war scenario. They find it awful not to eat. So they offer food to each other - but hardly with any convincing results. A denial makes them violent and stubborn. They cannot force things. Their Madness is fleeting. When they reach the point of exhaustion, they do entirely new things and become amazed with this newly acquired capacity. The most common face can either activate their laughter muscles or terribly intimidate them. Others can either become exceedingly curious or dead serious. After all, one could have a completely different appearance. They immediately recognise when they have lost control over their own bodies. They become disturbed. They lose the ability of simultaneous coordination. Everything goes well as long as they remain with good eyesight; thereafter they start to spin around themselves. Every now and then they have an attack: they scream until they are heard and then laugh with intense satisfaction. They exaggerate in everything they do and feel that nobody support them. They question themselves constantly as to whether they should be more disciplined and orderly. They give notice, in due time, before leaving a place. Then they progress to dismantle in such a way that allows others to follow them. They adjust to the speed of their persecutors thereby controlling the distance that separates them. (...)